I haven’t written in a while. I think my sandwich was getting too big to fit my mouth around – when that happens I tend to focus on just getting through the day. The weekend is looming, however, and my stress is rising for my dad, my sister and my brother, so here I am!
So, what is happening this weekend you might ask? This is the weekend my dad’s soon-to-be-ex-wife will be moving things out of my dad’s house. My brother will be in the house when the movers come (along with soon-to-be-ex-wife’s daughter) while my sister takes my dad out to shop for Christmas presents. This would be a hard day for anyone, but it is especially hard given the dementia. He is paranoid about a lot and particularly paranoid about what will be removed from his house. We weighed the options of either letting him stay and watch or take him out of the situation, but in the end we felt that he would struggle with being around the soon-to-be-ex-wife’s daughter. Can you imagine already being confused and depressed and then to have people come and take your things from your house? It is a truly horrible day for him.
I am not going to be there this weekend. I have my most loveliest friends in my world visiting me this weekend and, therefore, will not bear the burden of calming, negotiating, policing, explaining, comforting… but I feel like I would be less concerned if I could play some role. I have no control from my home and pleasant distractions two hours away. I know my sister and brother can manage it but, as a team and each other’s biggest fans, I want to be there.
I guess my job is cheerleader and humourist. Because soon-be-ex-wife sent a diagram of the things she is getting from the house, I sent my brother and sister a diagram of a rude gesture I would like to give in return! Obviously it is a behind the scenes coping mechanism, and they are going to be polite and civil, but it helps to laugh! I guess I have to go think of some other things I can do to cheer them through the weekend. I really don’t like cheerleading in sports given the sexy outfits and objectification of women, but I am getting out my spirit fingers and practicing my high kicks! Go TEAM! (was that good?)